so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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