just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
