THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
