so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
