direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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