Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The ass gains better be worth it
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