think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
