I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize