I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
