Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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