The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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