and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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