the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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