he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
