I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
