I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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