Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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