let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
