whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
