In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
