He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
