So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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