I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
