so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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