Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
