did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
