My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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