tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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