Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
