I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize