Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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