it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm like, not good at living.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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