Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
