Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
