I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
