She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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