I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
