Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
