Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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