Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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