We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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