My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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