How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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