He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
