How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
