a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
