no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
