I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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