Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
