does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
