I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We need to get me chipped asap
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
