Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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