separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i believe in u and ur pee
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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